I had to do something for me

And that something was doing absolutely nothing. It wasn’t intentional this time, so I don’t know if it was actually self-care. What I can say is that I laid on my couch and did nothing for HOURS on Sunday. When Aiden woke up, we ate breakfast and brushed our teeth and then I let him run circles around me until it was time for him to go to his Nana’s house. Even after he left, I stayed in that same spot–right there on my couch. We were one on Sunday. There was no moving. I had the tv on, but I wasn’t really watching. I wasn’t really in my phone. I wasn’t really sleep. I was just there.

I found myself to be completely overwhelmed with the same stress that I had ignored and put on the back burner. The moving stress. The procrastination of even looking for an apartment is definitely showing its effects now. I knew the apartment search was going to be tough, but I didn’t know it was going to hit like this. I find myself worrying about so much more because now it’s different. I have to take into consideration that I have Aiden moving as well. I can’t just pick a spot in the hood and know I’ll be fine. Of course, that comes with a cost. It’s frustrating to say the least. It’s overwhelming. It’s time consuming. It’s STRESSFUL.

So Sunday, I decided I would do nothing. I wouldn’t do laundry, I wouldn’t clean, I wouldn’t run errands (even though the money wasn’t there to run them anyway). Nada! I laid there. From 10-4. I’m not even sure that I felt relaxed at the time, but it was a break from searching and a break from tasks.

Sometimes you need that time to do nothing and sometimes your mind and/or body forces you to take it. Make sure you don’t ignore it when it finally comes!