Why boundaries are necessary for all relationships

For as long as I’ve known myself, I have been an “open book” to most people. I often found myself sharing my experiences, seeking advice and just plainly being available to any and everyone whenever they rang my phone or texted me. As you can imagine, it has been something that has always come natural to me as a helper and giver. However, maintaining this is not something that is sustainable.

 Far too often, I found myself listening to the challenges and issues of others, whilst ignoring my own needs. I’m not exactly sure where my lapse in boundaries started, but recent occurrences left me with no choice but to reinstate some new ones and to do so quickly.

Without boundaries in place, you can find yourself experiencing burnout and feeling overwhelmed with exhaustion. You begin to see yourself lacking compassion, not wanting to speak to people you often talk to and sometimes lashing out. Sometimes you feel as though you’re spread too thin, being taken advantage of, constantly in savior mode. These are all signs of someone who is lacking boundaries and for me it was a loud wakeup call. I found myself responding to questions in defense mode, questions that should not have required a response. Talking about my problems with some was not benefiting me and was actually causing me more frustration.

When we lack the necessary boundaries, we leave ourselves susceptible to toxicity and negative energy that can be exchanged in relationships. I made a statement on social media in the beginning of the year that I was protecting my time, so that I would not have to reclaim it—this applies to every aspect of my life and myself.  

Sometimes setting boundaries with those around us makes us feel guilty, but I can assure you that it is the best thing that you can do for yourself. It’s okay to ignore the phone call and call back later. It’s okay to pick and choose the times when you will have certain conversations. It is OKAY to keep something personal to you and you alone. You don’t have to share when you do not feel it will benefit you, nor do you have to subject yourself to unsolicited input that may cause you emotional harm. It’s okay to put yourself first. Be kind to yourself. It all starts with you.

Stay tuned for more content related to boundaries coming soon!

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