5 Tips to Practice Self-Compassion

As we continue to manage our daily stress, we may find that we are harder on ourselves than normal. This can lead to us judging ourselves, self-isolating and over-identifying problems to be our own. We have the tendency to be compassionate to others, but not to ourselves. Our brains are programmed to focus on the negative and unfortunately, it takes a little extra work to extend kindness to ourselves. This post shares with you the 3 elements of Self-Compassion, as well as 5 Tips to put self-compassion into practice.

The 3 Elements of Self-Compassion

  1. Self-kindness versus Self-Judgement - Self-compassion pushes us to be warm and understanding to ourselves when we feel as though we are not enough. We are enough. It acknowledges that being imperfect is inevitable and being gentle with oneself is important. When we accept this, we reach an emotional balance.

  2. Common humanity versus Isolation - When things do not go as we planned or expected, we have a tendency to pair frustration with isolation, as if it is “only me” who makes mistakes. Self-compassion recognizes the shared human experience of something we all go through rather than something that happens only to me.

  3. Mindfulness versus Over-Identification - Self-compassion also requires us to balance in identifying our emotions, so they’re neither suppressed nor exaggerated. In practicing mindfulness, we observe with openness and clarity to bring about a mindful awareness.

5 Tips to Practice Self-Compassion

  1. Think about how you treat a friend.

  2. Imagine that friend feeling badly about his or herself and struggling in some way. What would you do?

  3. If you’re at your best, what would you say to your friend? What tone of voice would you use?

  4. Now think about when you feel badly about yourself or when you’ve failed or made a mistake. How do you speak to yourself? Are you kind or are you critical?

  5. Now think about how you would sound if you spoke to yourself in the same way that you speak to your friend. What difference would this make in how you feel about yourself?

The goal of using self-compassion is not only to treat yourself with patience and kindness, but to shift negative self-talk to speaking to ourselves both friendly and warm. This allows you to not only increase confidence, but also decrease stress and worry.