What to do when you notice a change in your child's growth and learning

This is a follow-up to the post: We Are Our Kid’s Teachers. We have had PROGRESS! You would think it would be a given, but honestly, in my experience being a social worker—you are a collaborator with your child’s school/child care center/caregiver. You are the captain of that ship, BUT believe me when I tell you, you have to be ON IT.

With life as we know it, it is EASY to fall off and get a little lost. Sometimes you may find yourself wondering what your child is learning, but being in a rush at drop off/pick up and not really being able to have a conversation with your child’s teacher. I encourage you to do the opposite. Get all up in their business—their classroom business I mean. Granted, it wouldn’t hurt to get to know your child’s teacher (whether elementary school, daycare, etc.), but sometimes they are guarded and like to keep their personal life personal.

Anyway, if you read the previous post, you know that I noticed some changes with Aiden that I was NOT happy with and believe me, they were well aware. He showed regression in potty training, seeming regression in learning—color and letter recognition and it was FRUSTRATING. The class size is bigger than I would like, especially for the ratio, so it’s easy for a child to get “lost”. It’s all concerning, but when you’re paying the amounts we pay at daycare, who wants to start the search over?

I considered it. I had a serious conversation with the director and assistant director about my concern (this was after I already spoke to both classroom teachers a few times prior). Something just wasn’t clicking and it wasn’t making sense. Aiden is just about 2.5 years old and I started potty training him a month after his 2nd birthday. Needless to say, it would have been my preference for him to be FULLY potty trained now. I know, most people begin potty training around 3 years old or as they are approaching that mark, but he seemed ready so we went with it. It just lined up honestly, Christmas/holiday break seemed like the prime opportunity. We entered the New Year without diapers/pull ups and it was EVERYTHING. But after the new year, the classroom switched, the teacher switched and there went the progress we made.

It took this serious discussion for me to detail the extent of my concerns. Not that I haven’t mentioned them before (because I most definitely have), but for me to really let them know that I was not only concerned but also NOT PLEASED. They figured it out. We figured it out. As you read this, I want you to remember that YOU are your child’s number 1 advocate. Start NOW. Start as they are in daycare. You see something, best believe you need to say something. I ask questions. I make statements. I give suggestions. I say what works, what doesn’t work and I’m honest about what I’m having issues with myself. Sometimes there are tears from frustration, but guess what I’m still communicating.

So the Director said she would sort it out. This was after I explained his bathroom behavior at home. Accidents are minimal, he has freedom to go when he needs to, although he was not verbalizing when he needed to go. It was last week that I really knew the changes were working and he got it together. Because of FERPA, you can’t really ask about the other students/children in the class, but you can gain a better understanding about their behavior. So here’s what I noticed and what I was asking. I noticed they initially (when Aiden, along with the other kids, was first transitioned to the class) were only taking him to the bathroom 2-3 times a day out of a 9 hour day. HOW SWAY? No wonder he’s having accidents. Fast forward, because we tried to remedy that and they got lazy.

Director had them start creating a log and they would log each time he used the bathroom—this worked. He was averaging 6 times a day, give or take AND started telling me when he needed to use the bathroom. At home, we didn’t have accidents at night, but would have them in the morning at times because he would wake up and just pee as he was stretching before he got out of bed. Well, let me tell you, he holds it and it makes life so much easier. Now he knows. He’s connected the dots and I couldn’t be more proud.

I’ve seen an overall increase in his open participation in class, especially when he doesn’t think you are watching and he knows his Spanish! It’s exciting when the partnership works out, especially after it was extremely frustrating.

So really what I learned was that the other kids in his class are not potty training, are still in pull ups and/or diapers and still are using the bathroom 1 time in the morning and 1 time in the afternoon. Although unacceptable, I can understand why the teachers weren’t paying attention or remembering to take him/tell him to go to the bathroom. Not to mention, Aiden was probably reluctant to go because it would mean he would lose the toy he was playing with.

This outcome is all I could ever ask for. For my kid to be potty trained and for the teachers to get it. I’m sure it was a learning experience for them that one size does NOT fit all and some of your kids are going to be more advanced in different areas than others.

If you don’t take anything else away from this post, just remember to slow down, pay attention, notice, respond, advocate and intervene. Your child needs you to. If you don’t then who will?

As always, thank you for reading.

Tell me what you think about the post! Leave your comments below. Like, comment and share this post!

And PLEASE SUBSCRIBE! Let me know you’re reading and don’t miss out on any updates about events, upcoming workshops and of course, new posts!

What else do you want to hear/read about? Leave your suggestions here!