I'm not dating...

At least not actively dating anyway. I’ll be honest and say that I truly just don’t want to put the energy towards it right now. You know, the idea of having to make arrangements for someone to watch Aiden; to entertain someone when I truly don’t feel like being bothered; to get dressed in clothes that I don’t have in my closet; answering to someone and explaining why I can’t spontaneously meet up with them—I don’t feel like it.

Let’s get something straight though: I don’t want to be powered by my career—you know, the millennial focus, where love can come later. That’s not what I want, but right now I am focused on my mental health, my wellness and my development as a person altogether.

Sporadically over the past few months, I have dabbled in the use of a couple dating apps, just so I could begin to explore what dating is currently like in 2018-2019. At the time (I think it was between November/December), I was interested in dating and/or meeting someone, so I took the “easy” (and annoying) way out and delved into the use of the dating app. It was TOO MUCH. Believe me or not, it got overwhelming. Too many messages to keep up with, too much swiping, too much that I was not interested in. Not that the realization wasn’t there before, but if I wanted to meet someone new I would have to go out. And quite frankly, I just don’t want to make the time.

I will say, I’ve been making an active effort to go out in 2019 and be present in social spaces more often, but I have been doing so without the pressure of “finding someone” or the intention of “meeting someone.” It’s not a take it or leave it kind of thing, but it is me realizing that whenever I do come across someone who interests me and vice versa, it’ll happen.

I feel like as millennials, we place so much pressure on things that aren’t important to us, yet are important to everyone else and it becomes overbearing. With me focusing on wellness, I allow myself to grow in many areas, including socially. I wrote a post not so long ago about some of the anxiety I was experiencing in different social situations and although I don’t feel it plays a part in my life locally, it does prevent me from growing. So not to be cliche, but I’m working on me and focused on me with a very open mind. I' want to date, I’d like to date, but I’m not there quite yet. I also haven’t met anyone that I can see

In this I say, don’t let anyone pressure you into feeling like you need to do something that you’re not ready for—like dating. Your clock is not ticking, it is okay. Live your life and be well while doing it! Focus on what’s important to you and maintain balance!

As always, thanks for reading!

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