SELF-CARE SUNDAY: I’M BEING MINDFUL THROUGH EVERYTHING I DO TODAY

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As always, any self-care practice has to be intentional. You have to set out to do it. Today, Aiden decided to invade my allotted time by awakening earlier than I anticipated. My 5:00 o’clock hour was invaded with 15 minutes to spare. Actually, I was hoping I had time to myself until at least 7:30 AM, but hey, it is what it is.

I was washing the dishes and listening to an audiobook when I heard the little man of the house open the door and say “mommy, come here.” So I went, said good morning and retrieved him from his door way. (Self-care tip when transitioning to a toddler bed:  Use a child-proof gate in front of your kids doorway and protect your peace. It has worked exceptionally for me.)  Aiden was having a hard time listening while in the kitchen, so I calmly escorted him back to his room, replaced the gate on his door and instructed my little 2 year old to enjoy his toys and his room until he was able to pull it together (whatever that actually means for a 2 year old).  What did this do, you may ask?Well, a couple of things. Instead of me yelling at 6:00 AM, I was able to notice that Aiden’s behavior was going to do 2 things minimum: (1) prevent me from completing the task I set out to do–the dishes and (2) start making a mess that would ultimately lead to high levels of early morning frustration.  I put a hard stop to that and eliminated both factors by redirecting his energy to where it should be–out of the kitchen and in his room. I was being mindful. I had feelings about him being up too early and knowing that he would want some attention (all he wants at this hour is orange juice). I was being mindful about my responses to him and mindful about my energy in those moments. That mindfulness allowed me to respond without any stress for either of us.

Now, I am sitting here peacefully writing for you all, enjoying a cup of coffee, all while he is indulging in some good ol’ playtime.  Do you see how intentional self-care can be? My intention was to be productive and peaceful this morning. I was able to maintain that focus and not allow something so minor to disrupt the process. Aiden was able to maintain that focus as well because instead of a full blown tantrum, his retreat to his room became a useful reset for both of us.

Let me be honest, I don’t come up with all of these ideas on my own. As moms, sometimes we struggle to find the time to read those parenting articles, books, or other resources. That’s why I indulge so heavily in podcast listening and carve out the time to read for myself. Often it’s for my own leisure and enjoyment; however, I do create time to read varying articles and pages like Buzzfeed Parent, which is pretty damn funny and sometimes What to Expect offers some pretty on-time advice tailored to Aiden’s age.  It is my hope that I can become a one stop shop to give you useful information for you to apply to your daily routines.  I want you to feel empowered. I want you to decrease your associated parenting stress, your work stress. Your all around stress.

I found this book on Amazon called Breathe Mama Breathe, which shares 5 minute mindfulness practices for busy moms. It was authored by a social worker (woot, woot!) to apply mindfulness practices to everyday moments to increase a sense of calmness and connectedness. What this means is that we need to be more present in each moment. We need to allow ourselves to come out of autopilot in our daily routines and maintain awareness in every task.

For today, try to commit to practicing mindfulness in two (2) of your routine Sunday tasks.  Here is an example of what this could look like (examples are provided from the book referenced above):

Coffee or tea mindful break: Sit tall in a comfortable position, other in a chair or on a cushion on the floor. Holding your cup in both hands, feel the warmth radiating into your hands, feel the smooth or coarse texture of the mug. Slowly lift the mug to your nose and inhale the scent as if for the first time. Without judgment, notice what thoughts arise.  Notice how the muscles in your arms know just what to do as they lift the cup to your mouth.

Despite the urge to ingest the caffeine as soon as humanly possible (sounds a little desperate, but I’ve been there), see if you can pause for a moment and observe what happens.  Is your mouth watering in sweet anticipation? Are your thoughts screaming for you to please take a giant swig already? Just notice. Then, with deliberate action, place the cup to your lips. Now, take that first glorious sip and hold the flavorful liquid in your mouth, tasting as fully as you can.  As you swallow, experience the warmth moving its way down your throat and into your stomach. Pause.  Take a breath before your next sip.  As you do, notice what occurs in the body.  Has your heart rate increased? Does your mind feel more alert?  Are the sensations pleasant or unpleasant?  Tuning into our body sensations offers us subtle information we might otherwise miss.  Perhaps you relish the mental sharpness that occurs. Perhaps you realize the caffeine causes slight feelings of anxiety and you decide to live without. These sensations and reactions may also shift over time.  Keep watching. Stay curious. Enjoy.

 

Here are the key takeaways from this particular excerpt and how you can apply it to other tasks:

  •  Slow down and focus on what you are doing

  • Bring awareness to each step of your tasks

    • Try not to think of other tasks or “multitask” (it actually can be ineffective)

  • Focus on the thoughts that come to mind, so you can release them

  • Focus on what your body is doing and trying to tell you during your task

  • Be present in that moment

Let’s remember the importance of self-care:  It helps you to avoid getting to that point–the point of heightened stress. It decreases the negative effects of stress. It allows you to function at your full capacity and prevents the stress from taking over. Remember, these things take practice. You have to give yourself time. Don’t be too hard on yourself for the time that it takes. Allow yourself some wiggle room.

 

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