I'm tired of posting my own COVID-19 notices...

I haven’t seen too much talk by other entrepreneurs and small business owners about the impact that the COVID-19 crisis is making on their ability to operate and their mental health. I have heard messaging encouraging others to support small businesses, but you don’t hear the struggle. I guess that’s nice, but it really makes me wonder how are they really doing?

On Saturday, I finally broke. The stress of it all finally got to me. I had just been pushing along, postponing the events and wondering when we will finally get reprieve. I was fielding harmless questions asking “what are you going to do with your events?” The answer was “I don’t know,” but I postpone until I do.

I don’t need to say that we’re in an unprecedented time, we know that.

This crisis won’t allow me to do anything other than take a step back and wait. Don’t plan. Don’t do outreach for sponsorship, partnership, vendors or anything. It only allows for us to post the update of postponement or cancellation and let me tell you, that is disheartening STRESS. As someone who has envisioned TWO events that were to take place March 21 and May 2, one of which was a launch and the latter the second annual, I AM TIRED. I am emotionally exhausted.

I found myself feeling guilty because I” should be doing something.” I should be flushing out ideas, continuing to work on programming, doing outreach, securing ticket sales—yeah, right. That is not only immoral and insensitive, but beyond untimely. So here I am FINALLY accepting that I am at a standstill and despite optimism regarding postponement and “having more time to plan,” everything is halted. Now, just to provide some clarity—by no means have I not taken COVID-19 seriously. As you have read in my email blasts, I have been adhering to all of the recommendations and guidelines provided by the CDC, state and local government. That’s not the problem. The problem was acceptance.

Here I am now on Sunday morning feeling relief. Relief that I do not have to partake in my own internal battle of “do I promote?” “what do I tell the speakers now"?” “do I reach out for more vendors, partners and sponsors?” The answer is “no.” I wait and see. I hold off to find out what happens after the curve has flattened and then we can reassess and proceed accordingly.

I wrote this post so others would understand that entrepreneurs, small business owners and those like me who are event curators are possibly really not okay and may be silently struggling significantly with the stress associated with event cancellation and postponement due to COVID-19. We’ve had hope that this would let up, so the show would go on. It’s not for ourselves, but for our audience. And let me tell you, I have an audience that is truly GRACIOUS and I extend the utmost gratitude to all of you.

So I end this post with a THANK YOU—a big one for sticking with me, following, reading, watching, supporting and sharing. Stay tuned because we’re going to make it happen when it is time.